Matthew's Big Blog of Adventure!

Tuesday, August 3

How To Obfuscate Something

Uncyclopedia, on the topic of Obfuscation offers this wisdom:

The art of obfuscation has only one requirement, that is for the obfuscator to be a bit of a [jerk].... The following will be a step by step guide to obfuscation.

  1. Let's begin with a simple sentence: "Gramma stole my axe."

  2. Next we must identify our object, axe, our verb, stole, and our intellect pronoun, Gramma.

  3. Now we will identify the intention of the sentence. In this case, the intention is to frame Gramma for a murder we have recently committed by placing the key evidence in her possession.

  4. We are now ready to obfuscate.

  5. Take a break, have some casserole.

  6. First we will obfuscate the first word, Gramma, the woman who is of a most considerable age, but in good health nontheless, but who has had trouble in situations that involve (or in some very rare cases involving time and space, don't) one or more variables, and who has had a persistent outward dislike of the newspaper delivery boy, stole my axe."

  7. Repeat this process for each newly introduced subject in the sentence until you run out of paper to write it on.

  8. Visit Gramma in prison to gloat about your superior intellect.

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